I generally try to avoid any bands with names that sound even remotely like the title of a Cannibal Corpse song. This includes, but is not limited to shitty bands like Armadildo, Bi-Anal Ham Sandwich, We Butter the Bread with Butter, Galaxy of Mailbox Whores, etc, etc…
Oh… and The Parlotones. I fucking hate The Parlotones.
So when I read the name of this fine Wiltshire band… Man, I won’t lie to you, I was pretty bummed out.
And since I’ve never heard of them before, I started reading up on them a little and found some pretty negative sounding reviews. Man, that bummed me out even more.
But I decided to give the album a listen regardless. And I wasn’t sorry. I listened to the full album 6 times in a row. I danced to it. I threw some furniture over. I ran outside and broke a tree branch off and chased people down the street with it. I brushed my teeth to it.
They have been called “Primal Noise,” or “Rock Terrorists.” Their sound has been described as “a thunder-storm in a mental asylum” by some and the chick who lives next door to me called it “a mental breakdown in my pants.” I say – if it’s too loud, you deserve to be thrown through a fucking kick-drum for being such a little bitch.
These guys are awesome. This album, Flies Off The Bride, is awesome.
They sound like what Joy Division would sound like if I were listening to them from my mother’s womb and she was on acid. They sound what Nirvana would sound like if they stuck with the raw Bleach sound, but got better. They sound like listening to The Cramps, or Reverend Horton Heat while you’re rolling down a hill in a trash-can full of ball bearings.
The opening track, “Your happiness is my cancer” is eery and amazing. “Mr. Sadist” puts you right through the wall and by the time I got to “Independent Man” these three guys had me climbing the curtains in the sitting room and shaking my ass off until I fell through my coffee table.
In fact, check out this video I found on YouTube.
It’s so bad, it goes full circle of badness and becomes good again. Balls-to-the-wall good.
This album is great. It’s driving music. It’s angry-sex music. It’s fight music. And if you don’t agree with me… Then, well, fuck you. “I DO WHAT I WANT!”